sometimes

Wow I don't know what button I pushed but I somehow managed to put absolutely nothing on my blog but the word sometimes. You know tonight I thought of my books I had written, I had not thought about in years. About 11 years ago my ex-husband got mad at me and threw them away, not just any books my handwritten ones. My Love, my pain, my sadness, my fears, my doubts everything. Just thrown away, like i did not matter, everything that made me ME. Just thrown away like I am nothing, so I have felt I could not write ever again. I do not know how to forgive him. What is the secret, I don't know how to forgive him, how am I supposed to. Is this something we are supposed to learn as we get older or another secret that I am not privy to.

what are we doing?

Okay I just read an interesting article about Palin's appearance in Burlingame, Ca I don't understand the difference between what McCain wants to do and what Bush has already done. Can a person say hay I'm different than him ,because I am a rogue I will do it different. Did Bush not promise the same things. Oh wait a minute I know the difference it is a couple of verbs and a few more nouns that is what makes him a rogue? Okay we are all doomed if he gets into office. HELP I am trapped in a country that is mimicking China and their idea of democracy. Since when has giving all the money to the rich helped us the working class, you remember us we support the country. I don't remember the memo going out to all the American citizens saying don't forget to beg for that dollar, that Rockefeller might throw or perhaps ,Kennedy, or maybe trump ,please oh please sir can I please have that dollar now I just might be able to buy an apple and split it in 6 to feed my family. Is it just me or does any of it make sense?

What am i thinking

Okay what am i thinking? I can not stop my mind from going all the time, I think sometimes it prevents me from sleeping. I want to do so much and yet do nothing at the same moment. I feel like two people in one. I wish I could get all the stuff in my head out of it, maybe put it on paper or (hard drive) which ever is appropriate nowadays. Most of the time I just fight myself. Does anybody else? Or am I all alone in this. Boy I am very complicated, I even amaze myself. I am a Mom and I wonder if my kids have inherited my insanity, or perhaps just by living with me it will rub off on them. My hubby gratefully puts up with me, I think in his own masochistic way he loves me (ha, ha). Please excuse my grammar as never bothered to finish high school, I could not do it, it just was not for me. I just went to junior college, got involved with a man that would end up trying to destroy me and my child, and then to top it off I didn't even graduate from their either. You know looking back I am surprised that I made it all, at least in one piece. Maybe that is where this insanity comes from, maybe I am in multiple pieces and I don't even know it. Maybe I am just like humpty dumpty only in a female human form. Oh I don't know I am rambling again. I am the way I am. Insane and all, If only I could get this crap out of my head. GET OUT OF MY HEAD. I'm not sure if screaming is the answer, but sometimes it feels good.

Hello world!!

Hello there, this is my first blog ever in the world. Do i sound like a kid? Well sometimes i am, oh well. I am moody, happy most of the time, childish and alot of numerous other things. I am me Karyann. Since this is my first I don't want to get to crazy i'll take it slow.